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feelings
November 2009 
What does pain feel like?
Healing Artist Entrepreneur
I have two categories: physical and emotional. The emotional has been present much more in my life than the physical. I function and live my life as an emotional being. Feelings on my sleeve, easy to read, speak my mind. Pain is an aching inside, like a deep stab, or many, in my stomach, when I feel like I'm going to throw up. Having my Dad pass too soon knowing we were just getting connected "as adults and fellow human beings". Feeling pained to be diagnosed bipolar 2 and not have people understand what that means seeing their judgments or my wanting to be "more together" in certain situations, whatever that means (on a case by case basis of course).
Pain feels like my soul can't breathe. It's in cement, on hold, floating aimlessly, stagnant, suspended in time, limbo, squelched or too many "lottery balls" firing at once. The motor won't turn over or the person in front of me doesn't value who I am and my being-ness and contributions to the world because they're tainted and looking thorough their "fear-based, cautious and skeptical" glasses. Seeing the pain in their eyes, they've had to developed those coping mechanisms to live their life that way traveling their experiences and life path, that pains me...because we are all one. I want so much for them, and myself, to continually live with joy, no matter the lesson presenting itself.
Access: Public
thanks for sharing, I honor YOU and your contributions no matter what they may look or feel like. Saw your profile,cutos to your non profit work as well!
Thanks for the love and honoring. I know there are higher powers above that value what I do and how I give. That's most important to me. The same lovingness and sharing back to you… :)
Hi Lisa … I liked the way you expressed yourself with this blog entry. I especially liked your acknowledgement that people have often developed coping mechanisms in their lives that alter the way they view the world. This lens distorts everything they see, and even though being on the other side of that equation can feel disturbing or misunderstood, it is good to see someone able to acknowledge that often it only has to do with perception, and has nothing to do with your reality. Great post!
Thanks ntexas99 for your thought!…we all have the lens we've developed over time, our way of ”perceiving”. I just wish there were more of us who'd be willingly to take them off for a thorough “washing”, so they'd be clear and brilliant. What I can do within my power is see and acknowledge their “coping mechanism pain” and offer words of understanding, listening, a smile, or a hug and let them know their past doesn't have to continue into their present and future…They're loved and that's the most important feeling in the world.